Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
