the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
