Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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