Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
