Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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