after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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