is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
