Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
