God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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