we're blogging at a bar
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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