I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
