i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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