dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
