There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
