But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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