cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
