11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
