No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
