sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
