Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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