Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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