party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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