i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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