So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
