I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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