I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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