Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
