Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
