let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
