but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
