Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
