I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
