I'm drive I can fine osifer
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
