we're blogging at a bar
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
