It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
