I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
