Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
