I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
