I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Pooping to opera.
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