Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
