Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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