im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
