I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
