We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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