I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
