Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
