also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
