Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
