the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
