it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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